By John Tallodi
Like most game-changing technologies, the internet has proven to be a double-edged sword. It has provided people with a tool that allows for instant access to worldwide information, entertainment, e-commerce, finance, communication, and so much more. The result can seem more like magic than science. Search engines allow everyone to get information about any topic instantly. Imagine being able to find out every last detail about the development of the McLaren F1, what the latest Toyota supercar is, or perhaps the current MSRP of a Mazda Miata.
Clearly, limitless possibilities await the savvy internet user. So, what did some folks use this magical online power for this year? To ask some of the dumbest car questions in history, that's what. Questions that once would have you ridiculed in the privacy of your own home are now out in the world, making us feel dumber for just reading them. Google, of course, answered each one as if it were a valid, well-thought-out query, but we know better. Sometimes, a bit of tough love is what's needed to get things back on track, so we have picked the top 11 dumbest questions asked of Google this year and provided the answers you should have gotten.
All these questions are real, and confirmed by our SEO team. Rather than relying on a giant tech company or AI, the answers are coming from the author of this story. Being a savvy user of this esteemed site proves that you, dear reader, are not the source of the questions listed in this article.
Why Is A Car Called A Car?
This is the first and possibly only decent question on the top-searched list. The short answer is that it evolved from ancient terms that referred to wheeled vehicles, such as carriages and chariots. The Latin word 'carrus' and the Greek word 'karros' were both adopted by other nations and altered over the years, eventually evolving into the word "car" in English.
Why Is A Car Not A Living Thing?
Google, of course, answered this by saying that it lacks fundamental biological traits. The person asking it lacks a few fundamental traits, too, no doubt. We bet the question right before this one was something like "Can I marry an inanimate object?"
It's questions like these that prevent alien races from making contact with us. Just because your rusty old Camaro is your best friend doesn't make it suddenly turn into some kind of demented robot that speaks in short audio clips. Now stop polishing the clear coat off the faded paintwork and go out with some actual human friends.
Why Won't My Car Go?
Great question. Short and to the point. Why get specific when you can ask the collective genius of Google to fill in the blanks? Surely it can use AI and your search history to figure this one out. Or maybe not. We would suggest trying the car key or figuring out how the door handle works first, before getting too technical. Countless things could cause a vehicle not to run, including serious mechanical faults or simply running out of fuel. Let's just say that your car not going is the best thing to happen to road safety in your neighborhood today.
What Car Did Jesus Drive?
Unless this one was taken out of context, like "Hey man, what car did Jesus, my friend, drive to work in today?" then this is another damning indictment of the state of our education system these days. Google provided another non-judgmental soft landing for the mouth breather that typed this by saying that cars did not exist until the very late 19th century, which meant they weren't around in the Biblical era.
It should have said he drove a Toyota Land Cruiser or something similar. While Rome and other civilizations had built roads by the first century AD, they weren't up to the standards of modern Interstates. Jesus would have looked pretty cool in a Land Cruiser, though. It's not too fancy but can go just about anywhere
Believe it or not, the answer is actually in scripture. Jesus drove a Honda Accord, but he was humble about it. "For I did not speak of my own Accord," states John 12:49.
There Is A Deer In My Car?
This one barely seems like an honest question. But, OK, let's take a step back for a moment and visualize the scene. Someone is driving along a stretch of deserted road. The next minute, a deer jumps into their path, and, after a short altercation with the windshield, slides effortlessly into the front passenger seat next to the stunned driver. It then sits there as the driver pulls to a stop and types 'There is a deer in my car' on their phone. Perhaps it's better to let the deer do the driving from now on.
Sources: The repository for sarcastic off-the-cuff comments. Also Google. Deutsche Welle
Read the full article on CarBuzz
This article originally appeared on CarBuzz and is republished here with permission.
