As your date of separation nears, you may find yourself overwhelmed with stress and uncertainty. In the military, even with all the changes encountered regularly (relocating family, changing jobs, etc.), you often have a clear sense of what comes next and where to go for resources.
Now, as you get ready to join the civilian sector, you might feel dazed by the amount of information you don't know or may feel unprepared for everything there is to do. Here are five foundational things to know about this tumultuous time.
1. Know that Separating Is Hard. You Aren't Alone.
Understand that the level of uncertainty and stress you're experiencing is perfectly normal. If someone tells you they're not stressed about leaving a culture, work and community as cohesive as the military, they likely could be misleading you.
I've coached hundreds of transitioning military personnel and the lists of information, actions and steps you'll need to take before you leave service is incredible.
2. Prioritize Your Tasks.
Recognize that prioritizing what to do will be critical. Depending on how much time you have before your expiration term of service (ETS), make lists of what needs to get done today, next week and next month and what could wait until after you separate.
For example, if you'll be taking a few months off to relocate your family and then travel, then does your resume need to be perfect today, or can you work on that as you get closer to being employment-ready?
Lists can be particularly helpful to organize your tasks and get thoughts out of your head and onto paper. For some people, a binder with tabs helps them sort action items by month or by step. For others, a wall covered in Post-It notes is more productive. However you list out your necessary items, do it. Then prioritize them.
Is it more important today that you have a post-military wardrobe ready or a resume? When will you activate your free LinkedIn Premium account? When will you let your network know of your plans to separate? And so on. Listing out when things should happen reduces the pressure to do all of it immediately.
3. See What You Can Delegate.
If writing your resume causes you anxiety, consider hiring a coach. Can your spouse accompany you to Transition Assistance Program (TAP) classes and pick up some of the weight of getting set up for the move or managing your financials? Where you can, ask for help and support to take the pressure off yourself.
4. Don't Procrastinate.
Schedule appointments that need to be done in a specific time. From your TAP classes to your medical appointments and other transition activities, get them on the calendar as soon as available. Sometimes just having them scheduled and on your calendar removes the anxiety of wondering when you'll need to tend to them.
For meetings and appointments that are less firmly attached to specific dates, schedule them as your workload and schedule permits. For example, networking will be important as you prepare to find your post-military job, but should that be started today (when you're working on critical projects) or later, when your work schedule affords you more flexibility?
5. Understand that Leaving the Military Is Just the Beginning.
Remember that transition is not a day. It's a process. Some veterans admit that even though they left the military years ago, they feel they're still learning how to embrace civilian life fully. Be patient with yourself. If you find yourself feeling pressured to do too much, too soon, relax and look at your timelines.
The author of "Success After Service: How to Take Control of Your Job Search and Career After Military Duty" (2020) and "Your Next Mission: A personal branding guide for the military-to-civilian transition" (2014), Lida Citroën is a keynote speaker and presenter, executive coach, popular TEDx speaker and instructor of multiple courses on LinkedIn Learning. She regularly presents workshops on personal branding, executive presence, leadership communication and reputation risk management.
A contributing writer for Military.com, Lida is a passionate supporter of the military, volunteering her time to help veterans transition to civilian careers and assist employers who seek to hire military talent. She regularly speaks at conferences, corporate meetings and events focused on military transition.
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